#PeaceCorps MAK24: It is Tradition

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This weekend, I had the privilege of attending a two-day wedding celebration for one of the cousins on the compound. (To wit, I call it a compound because it’s a set of houses surrounding a courtyard, and meals and conversation usually happen either outdoors or in a fully functional kitchen shed. I love it: I’ve never had so much ‘family’ in my life, as the only child of an only child. I just wish I spoke more Albanian.) The ceremonies were two separate affairs: the first was women only except for the very end, and the second was the “banquet” with the bride and groom’s families all attending.

In the first ceremony, the female members of this exceptionally large Albanian family gathered at a banquet hall at a restaurant near the compound. We danced to a live singer who sang what I assume were traditional Albanian songs and he sang very well. I learnt the steps fairly quickly, but dancing for hours in heels was exhausting. However, I had loads of fun. At the end, the groom’s family sang and prayed over the bride, who looked sad and distant. I learnt that looking sad and crying is traditional at the end of this ceremony, where the male members of the bride’s family came to say goodbye to her and sent her off to her new family. There was also a red cape placed over the bride’s shoulders, welcoming her into the new “blood” of the groom’s family. (All this was explained to me by the English speaking younger son of my host mother the next day.)

The second ceremony would not look unfamiliar to an American wedding reception, except for the traditional Albanian dancing. Only the groom’s family is allowed to dance at first, and then the bride’s family. I waited rather impatiently for my chance to show off my moves. There was more dancing, just on a grander scale: this banquet hall was enormous and beautiful, and instead of one singer with a keyboard, there were two singers and a live band including a saxophone. There was also no wedding cake and no toasts (no alcohol either–this family is Muslim). However, there was the beating of forks against the table for some reason.

I was told by someone sitting at my table that the wedding was expensive, but “wrong” because it was not in the traditional wedding season, which is in July or August. Tradition is a very strong and possibly loaded word, but this ceremony felt traditional to me, and the day made sense: Friday was a national holiday and gave everyone a chance to travel for the wedding. Tradition is so many things: the way we dress, what holidays we celebrate (and how we celebrate them), the way we celebrate things like birthdays and weddings. If the wedding is traditional, why should the date matter?

The Peace Corps spends a lot of time and effort helping us integrate into the culture of the places we are sent. There are a few things that I won’t change about who I am and what I do (safety belts, for one, and petting cute animals, for another) but participating whole-heartedly in joyous occasions should be top on the list. Celebrating love is cross-cultural, no matter how one does it.

#PeaceCorps MAK24: To Market, To Market

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photo by Katie D, MAK24

The bazaar is every Tuesday, right next to my house. Last Tuesday I was too ill to go, and this Tuesday we were TOLD to go for homework, to practise the words we had just learned in class. Open air markets are a staple in European nations, popping up in larger (gentrified) cities in the USA. But to go, and be surrounded by commerce and people and exchange, gives another hint to the culture we’ve found ourselves in. I managed to buy Granny Smith apples and a cup full of raspberries to share with another trainee.

One of the things I was quite frightened about was not having a support system. I’m not known for making friends, and as an only child I don’t even have that built in system of siblings that you may or may not like. Luckily, my language class consists of three other people who are all fantastic and amazing women with interesting lives and insights, and I love spending time with each of them. I’ve also made friends with people who are in other villages, and meeting up with them on “hub/technical days” is quite uplifting.

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On Hub/Technical days: once a week, all of us MAK24 trainees come to the capital of N Macedonia, Skopje, to be trained as a group on how we’re supposed to accomplish our tasks here whilst Peace Corps Volunteers. Skopje is a capital city, but what type it’s trying to be, I don’t know. Is it trying to wear the clothes of Berlin and Paris, or stay close to its Eastern siblings like Kyiv and Tirana? Порта Македонија (Skopje’s “Arc de Triomphe”) tells one story, but the city itself tells a different one. I only spent an hour and a half exploring it, so I really have no answers and no opinions.

Other observations: the stray dog and cat population is thrice what I would have even imagined. There is no shelter system in Macedonia: some dogs are tagged, some aren’t. The tagged ones have been spayed/neutered and immunised, but there’s no telling when. We trainees have befriended dogs, because of course we have. There are wild cats that enjoy visiting my courtyard, skulking around the wood piles, and they are all very cute. I pet a cat on a walk, scandalising my Albanian-Macedonian companion. I made sure she saw me washing my hands.

This week is packed full. I have been invited to a wedding, and so a wedding shower on Wednesday, and a wedding at the weekend. Our hub day is Thursday, as Friday is the Day of the Macedonian Uprising (against fascism). The wedding is either Friday or Saturday. I hope I’m ready. I know I’ll mostly be in silent observation mode, seeing as my Albanian is very, very minimal. Watching the dubbed Turkish soaps and then the news is quite helpful, actually, but I am impatient to speak it. I feel as if we’re all impatient, honestly, to grow, to progress, to integrate. има време, as the Macedonians say. There is time.

#PeaceCorps MAK24: An Introduction

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Hello! My name is SD and I will be headed somewhere in North Macedonia to teach English as a Foreign Language. North Macedonia is a Balkan state, surrounded by five countries. For more information about North Macedonia, you can check out Virtual Macedonia. (None of the opinions expressed on this site is endorsed by me, the Macedonian government or the Peace Corps.)

I am 33 years old and have been teaching since 2010. I’ve taught in France, the UK and the USA, and I’ve taught English, Spanish and French. I’m fluent in English, French, German and Swedish. In the Peace Corps, I will be studying Macedonian and possibly Albanian, if I am put in a dual-language area. I love travelling, and hope to visit many of the Balkan countries surrounding Macedonia and Greece.

North Macedonia is going through some interesting changes, including joining NATO and possibly entering into talks to join the European Union. I am sure that on the ground, nothing big will be happening, but I can’t wait to see what happens on the grand stage.

This blog will be updated regularly, and photos will also be posted to my Instagram. I would love to hear from you in the comments, and thanks for visiting!

Map of North Macedonia from geology.com